2 Murphy's Law #2~Everything takes longer than you think.
3 Murphy's Law #3~Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
4 Murphy's Law #4~If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.\n\nCorollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
5 Murphy's Law #5~If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
6 Murphy's Law #6~If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
7 Murphy's Law #7~Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
8 Murphy's Law #8~If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
9 Murphy's Law #9~Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
10 Murphy's Law #10~Mother nature is a bitch.
11 Murphy's Law #11~It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
12 Murphy's Law #12~Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
13 Murphy's Law #13~Every solution breeds new problems.
14 Murphy's Law #14~Fixing a thing takes longer and costs more than you thought.
15 Murphy's Law #15~Complex problems have simple, easy-to-understand wrong answers.
16 Murphy's Law #16~If several things that could have gone wrong have not gone wrong, it would have been ultimately beneficial for them to have gone wrong.
17 Murphy's Constant~Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
18 Lucy's Law~No good deed goes unpunished.
19 Lyon's Law of Hesitation~He who hesitates is last.
20 Marshall's Generalized Iceberg Theorem~Seven-eighths of everything can't be seen.
21 McGoons Law~The probability of winning is inversely propertional to the amount of the wager.
22 McGovern's Law~The longer the title, the less important the job.
23 McGurk's Law~Any improbable event which would create maximum confusion if it did occur, will occur.
24 H. L. Mencken's Law~Those who can--do.\nThose who cannot--teach.\nThose who cannot teach--administrate. (Martin's Extension)
25 Miller's Law~You can't tell how deep a puddle is until you step into it.
26 MIST Law (Man In The Street)~The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
27 Nessen's Law~Secret sources are more credible.
28 Nienberg's Law~Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
29 O'Brien's Rule~Nothing is ever done for the right reason.
30 Panic Instruction~When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
31 Paradox of Selective Equality~All thing being equal, all things are never equal.
32 The First Law of Management~Kickbacks must always exceed bribes.
33 Quantized Revision of Murphy's Law~Everything goes wrong all at once.
34 The New Math Version of Murphy's Law~If there is a 50/50 chance of something going wrong, nine times out of ten it will.
35 O'Toole's Commentary on Murphy's Law~Murphy was an optimist.
36 Murphy's Law of Thermodynamics~Things get worse under pressure.
37 Orion's Law~Everything breaks down.
38 The Murphy Philosophy~Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.
39 ~All great discoveries are made by mistake.
40 ~Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
41 Army Law~If it moves, salute it; if it doesn't move, pick it up; if you can't pick it up, paint it.
42 Astrology Law~It's always the wrong time of the month.
43 Fourteenth Corollary of Atwood's General Law of Dynamic Negatives~No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep.
44 Avery's Rule of Three~Trouble strikes in series of threes, but when working around the house the next job after a series of three is not the fourth job -- it is the start of a brand new series of three.
45 Babcock's Law~If it can be borrowed and it can be broken, you will borrow it and you will break it.
46 Baer's Quartet~What's good politics is bad economics; what's bad politics is good economics; what's good economics is bad politics; what's bad economics is good politics.
47 Baker's Byroad~When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
48 Baker's Law~Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
49 Baldy's Law~Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.
50 Barr's Comment on Domestic Tranquility~On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy -- but we'll work on it.
51 Barth's Distinction~There are two classes of people: those who divide people into two classes, and those who don't.
52 Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery~The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.
53 Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age~Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.
54 Forthoffer's Cynical Summary of Barzun's Laws~1) That which has not yet been taught directly can never be taught directly.\n\n2) If at first you don't succeed, you will never succeed.
55 Baxter's First Law~Government intervention in the free market always leads to a lower national standard of living.
56 Law of Cybernetic Entomology~There's always one more bug.
57 Beauregard's First Law~When you're up to your nose in it, keep your mouth shut.
58 Beauregard's Second Law~All people are cremated equal.
59 Thoughts on Management~If everyone dislikes it, it must be looked into. If everyone likes it, it must be looked into.
60 Hunts Law of Suspense~If any work has a suspense date on it, that work will be completed as close to the suspense date as possible regardless of how far in advance it was programmed.
61 Belle's Constant~The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.
62 Golub's Laws of Computerdom #1~A carelessly planned project takes three times longer to complete than expected; a carefully planned project will take only twice as long.
63 Golub's Laws of Computerdom #2~The effort required to correct the error increases geometrically with time.
64 Benchley's Law~Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
65 First Law of Bicycling~No matter which way you ride, it's uphill and against the wind.
66 The Billings Phenomenon~The conclusions of most good operations research studies are obvious.
67 Blaauw's Law~Established technology tends to persist in spite of new technology.
68 Blanchard's Newspaper Obituary Law~If you want your name spelled wrong, die.
69 Rules of Pratt #1~If a severe problem manifests itself, no solution is acceptable unless it is involved, expensive, and time consuming.
70 Rules of Pratt #2~Sufficient monies to do the job correctly the first time are not available, however, ample funds are much easier obtained for repeated revisions.
71 Boling's Postulate~If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.
72 Bolton's Law of Ascending Budgets~Under current practices, both expenditures and revenues rise to meet each other, no matter which one may be in excess.
73 Advanced Systems News Letter~The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
74 Boyle's Observation~A welfare state is one that assumes responsibility for the health, happiness, and general well-being of all its citizens except the taxpayers.
75 Boston's Irreversible Law of Clutter~In any household, junk accumulates to fill the space available for its storage.
76 RB's Five-Thumb Postulate~Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.
78 Boob's Law~You always find something the last place you look.
79 Boozer's Revision~A bird in the hand is dead.
80 Borstelmann's Rule~If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.
81 The Law of Selective Gravity~An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
82 Jenning's Corollary to the Law of Selective Gravity~The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the value of the carpet.
83 Law of the Perversity of Nature~You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
84 Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics~Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
85 Jones' Law~The man who can smile when things go wrong...has thought of someone he can blame it on.
86 First Law of Bridge~It's always the partner's fault.
87 Brien's First Law~At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
88 Broder's Law~Anybody that wants the presidency so much that he'll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
89 Brontosaurus Principle~Organizations can grow faster than their brains can manage them in relation to their environment and to their own physiology; when this occurs, they are an endangered species.
90 Brooks's First Law~Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
91 Brooke's Second Law~Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
92 Bruce-Brigg's Law of Traffic~At any level of traffic, any delay is intolerable.
93 Bucy's Law~Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
94 Thoughts on Programming, Number 52~The user does not know what he wants until he sees what he gets.\n\n -Ed Yourdon
95 Radar's Fundamental Truth~The grass is brown on both sides of the fence.
96 Butler's Law of Progress~All progress is based on a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income.
97 Bye's First Law of Model Railroading~Anytime you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults is proportional to the number of viewers.
98 Bye's Second Law of Model Railroading~The desire for modeling a prototype is inversely proportional to the decline of the prototype.
99 Pastore's Truth~Most jobs are marginally better than daytime TV.
100 Cahn's Axiom\n(Allen's Axiom)~When all else fails, read the instructions.
101 Calkin's Law of Menu Language~The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the resulting dish.
102 John Cameron's Law~No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered, take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
103 Troutman's Programming Law #1~If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent systems will malfunction.
104 Troutman's Programming Law #2~Not until a program has been in production for at least six months will the most harmful error then be discovered.
105 Troutman's Programming Law #3~Job control cards that cannot be arranged in improper order will be.
106 Troutman's Programming Law #4~Interchangeable tapes won't.
107 Troutman's Programming Law #5~If the input editor has been designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to get bad data past it.
108 Cannon's Cogent Comment~The leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.
109 Cavanaugh's Postulate~All kookies are not in a jar.
110 Law of Character and Appearance~People don't change; they only become more so.
111 Checkbook Balancer's Law~In matters of dispute, the bank's balance is always smaller than yours.
112 Cheop's Law~Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
113 Chesterton's Observation~I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
114 Chili Cook's Secret~If your next pot of chili tastes better, it probably is because of something left out, rather than added.
115 Stanley's Law of Taking Things Apart~When putting things back together again, there will always be at least one piece left over that will not fit anywhere.
116 The First Discovery of Christmas Morning~Batteries not included.
117 The First Discovery of Christmas Afternoon~Give a kid a new toy -- Dad will play with the toy, the kid will play with the box it came in.
118 Etorre's Observation~The other line always moves faster.\n\nCorollary:\nDon't try to change lines. The other line--the one you were in originally--will then move faster.
119 Faber's Fourth Law~Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.
120 Snafu Equation No. 6~Badness comes in waves.
121 The Golden Rule~Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
122 The Law of Probable Dispersal~Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed (also known as: The How Come It All Landed On Me Law).
123 Ralph's Observation~It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
124 Manly's Maxim~Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
125 Cannon's Comment~If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
126 Scott's Second Law~When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.
127 The Point of No Return Law~The light at the end of the tunnel could turn out to be the headlight of an oncoming train.
128 Moer's Truism~The trouble with most jobs is the resemblance to being in a sled dog team: No one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.
129 Gordon's First Law~If a project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
130 Grierson's Law of Minimal Self-Delusion~Every man nourishes within himself a secret plan for getting rich that will not work.
131 Gumperson's Law~The probability of anything happening is inversely proportional to its desirability.
132 Hoare's Law of Large Problems~Inside every large problem there is a small problem struggling to get out.
133 Finagle's First Law~If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
134 Howe's Law~Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
135 Jones' Motto~Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
136 Mahr's Law of Restrained Involvement~Don't get any on you.
137 Law of Research~Enough research will tend to support your theory.
138 Maier's Law~If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded.
139 Munroes Observation~Common sense is not that common.
140 Abbott's Admonitions~1) If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.\n\n2) If you don't like the answer, you shouldn't have asked the question.
141 Acheson's Rule of the Bureaucracy~A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer.
142 Acton's Law~Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
143 Airplane Law~When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
144 Agnes Allen's Law~Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
145 Alley's Axiom~Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven.
146 Anderson's Law~I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when you looked at it in the right way, did not become still more complicated.
147 Andrew's Canoeing Postulate~No matter which direction you start, it's always against the wind coming back.
148 Law of Annoyance~When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
149 Anthony's Law of the Workshop~Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.~Corollary:\n\nOn the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
150 Ninety-Ninety Rule of Project Schedules~The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time. The last 10% of the task takes the other 90%.
152 Nowlan's Truism~An 'acceptable level of unemployment' means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
153 Laws of Programming~Definition: A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
154 Laws of Programming #1~Every non-trivial program has at least one bug~Corollary 1:\nA sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.\n\nCorollary 2:\nAt least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.
155 Laws of Programming #2~Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
156 Laws of Programming #3~The subtlest bugs cause the greatest damage and problems.~ Corollary:\nA subtle bug will modify storage thereby masquerading as some other problem.
157 Laws of Programming #4 ('Lulled into Security Law')~A 'debugged' program that crashes will wipe out source files on storage devices when there is the least available backup.
158 Laws of Programming #5~A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer.
159 Laws of Programming #6~A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.
160 Laws of Programming #7~The documented interfaces between standard software modules will have undocumented quirks.
161 Laws of Programming #8~The probability of a hardware failure disappearing is inversely proportional to the distance between the computer and the customer engineer.
162 Laws of Programming #9~Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
163 Laws of Programming #10~Any program will expand to fill all available memory.
164 Laws of Programming #11~Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer to maintain it.
165 Laws of Programming #12~Any given program costs more and takes longer.
166 Laws of Programming #13~If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
167 Laws of Programming #14~If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
168 ~Life sucks--then you die.
169 Approval Seeker's Law~Those whose approval you seek the most give you the least.
170 Finagle's Second Law~No matter what the experiment's result, there will always be someone eager to:\n\n(a) misinterpret it.\n(b) fake it. or\n(c) believe it supports his own pet theory.
171 Finagle's Third Law~In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.\n\nCorollaries\n1. No one whom you ask for help will see it.\n2. Everyone who stops by with unsought advice will see it immediately.
172 Finagle's Fourth Law~Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
173 Rudin's Law~In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
174 Ginsberg's Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics~\nYou can't win.\nYou can't break even.\nYou can't quit.
175 Ehrman's Commentary~Things will get worse before they will get better.\n\nWho said things would get better?
176 Commoner's Second Law of Ecology~Nothing ever goes away.
177 Klipstein's Law~Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
178 ~Interchangeable parts won't.
179 ~You never find a lost article until you replace it.
180 Glatum's Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness~The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.
181 Lewis' Law~No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
182 ~You get the most of what you need the least.
183 First Law of Revision~Information necessitiating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after - and only after - the plans are complete. (Often called the 'Now They Tell Us' Law)
184 Second Law of Revision~The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.
185 Corollary to the First Law of Revision~In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent revision.
186 Wyszkowski's Second Law~Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.
187 Schmidt's Law~If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
188 Sattinger's Law~It works better if you plug it in.
189 Lowery's Law~If it jams - force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
190 Anthony's Law of Force~Don't force it - get a bigger hammer.
191 Peer's Law~The solution to the problem changes the problem.
192 ~Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.~
193 Carson's Law~It's better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick.
194 Korman's Conclusion~The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come your way again.
195 Knight's Law~Life is what happens to you while you are making other plans.
196 Schmidt's Observation~All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
197 ~Fools rush in where fools have been before.
198 Wyszowski's Law~No experiment is reproducible.
199 Fett's Law~Never replicate a successful experiment.
200 The First Myth of Management~It exists.
201 ~Spend sufficient time confirming the need and the need will disappear.
202 Peter's Placebo~An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.
203 Zymurgy's Law of Volunteer Labor~People are always available for work in the past tense.
204 Wiker's Law~Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.
205 Weiler's Law~Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.
206 Hartley's Second Law~Never go to bed with anybody crazier than you are.
207 Beifeld's Principle~The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of\n\n(1) a date,\n(2) his wife, and\n(3) a better looking and richer male friend.
208 Katz's Law~Men and women will act rationally when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
209 Cole's Axiom~The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.
210 Churchill's Commentary on Man~Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
211 The Ultimate Law~All general statements are false.
212 The Whispered Rule~People will believe anything if you whisper it.
213 Farnsdick's Corollary~After things have gone from bad to worse, the cycle will repeat itself.
214 Lynch's Law~When the going gets tough, everybody leaves.
215 Law of Revelation~The hidden flaw never remains hidden.
216 Langsam's Law~Everything depends.
217 Hellrung's Law~If you wait, it will go away.\n\n Shevelson's Extension: ... having done its damage.\n\nGrelb's Addition: ... if it was bad, it will be back.
218 Ducharme's Precept~Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.
219 First Postulate of Isomurphism~Things equal to nothing else are equal to each other.
220 The Unapplicable Law~Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
221 Witten's Law~Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.
222 Perkin's Postulate~The bigger they are, the harder they hit.
223 Harrison's Postulate~For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
224 Conway's Law~In every organization there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person must be fired.
225 Stewart's Law of Retroaction~It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
226 First Law of Laboratory Work~Hot glass looks exactly the same as cold glass.
227 Handy Guide to Modern Science~1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.\n2. If it stinks, it's chemistry.\n3. If it doesn't work, it's physics.
228 The Sausage Principle~People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either one being made.
229 Horngren's Observation (generalized)~The real world is a special case.
230 Merkin's Maxim~When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
231 Hawkin's Theory of Progress~Progress does not consist of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is right. It consists of replacing a theory that is wrong with one that is more subtly wrong.
232 ~Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
233 Matz's Warning~Beware of the physician who is great at getting out of trouble.
234 Gold's Law~If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
235 Lewis' Law~People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
236 Law of Reruns~If you have watched a TV series only once, and you watch it again, it will be a rerun of the same episode.
237 Shirley's Law~Most people deserve each other.
238 ~Forgive and remember.
239 Galbraith's Law of Political Wisdom~Anyone who says he is not going to resign, four times, definitely will.
240 Bicycle Law~All bicycles weigh 50 pounds:\n\nA 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock.\nA 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock.\nA 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.
241 Cohen's Law~What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts, not the facts themselves.
242 Comin's Law~People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
243 Gerrold's Laws of Infernal Dynamics~1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.\n\n2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
244 Langin's Law~If things were left to chance, they'd be better
245 ~In America, it's not how much an item costs that matters, it's how much you save.
246 ~If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, maybe you just don't understand the situation.
247 Sevareid's Law~The chief cause of problems is solutions.
248 Thoreau's Law~If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intention of doing you good, you should run for your life.
249 Army Axiom~Any order that can be misunderstood has been misunderstood.
250 Pournelle's Law of Costs and Schedules~Everything costs more and takes longer.
251 Klipstein's Lament~All warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.
252 Klipstein's Observation~Any product cut to length will be too short.
253 Sueker's Note~If you need n items of anything, you will have n - 1 in stock.
254 Rosenfield's Regret~The most delicate component will be dropped.
255 De La Lastra's Law~After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
256 De La Lastra's Corollary~After an access cover has been secured by 16 hold-down screws, it will be discovered that the gasket has been ommitted.
257 Gerrold's Law~A little ignorance can go a long way.
258 Murphy's Military Law #1~Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
259 Murphy's Military Law #2~No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
260 Murphy's Military Law #3~Friendly fire ain't.
261 Murphy's Military Law #4~The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
262 Murphy's Military Law #5~The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
263 Murphy's Military Law #6~The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
264 Murphy's Military Law #7~The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
265 Murphy's Military Law #8~Incoming fire has the right of way.
266 Murphy's Military Law #9~If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
267 Murphy's Military Law #10~The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
268 Murphy's Military Law #11~If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
269 Murphy's Military Law #12~The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
270 Murphy's Military Law #13~The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
271 Murphy's Military Law #14~There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
272 Murphy's Military Law #15~Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
273 Murphy's Military Law #16~If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
274 ~A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
275 Murphy's Technology Law #1~After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
276 Murphy's Technology Law #2~Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
278 Murphy's Technology Law #3~If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
279 Murphy's Technology Law #4~If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
280 Murphy's Technology Law #5~Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
281 Murphy's Technology Law #6~The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
282 Barber's Law of Backpacking #1~The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you chose to hike always comes out positive.
283 Barber's Law of Backpacking #2~Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure.
284 Barber's Law of Backpacking #3~The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it. If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway.
285 Barber's Law of Backpacking #4~The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
286 Barber's Law of Backpacking #5~The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.
287 Barber's Law of Backpacking #6~The size of each of the stones in your boot is directly proportional to the number of hours you have been on the trail.
288 Barber's Law of Backpacking #7~The remaining distance to your chosen campsite remains constant as twilight approaches.
289 Barber's Law of Backpacking #8~The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.
290 Barber's Law of Backpacking #9~When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.
291 Barber's Law of Backpacking #10~If you take your boots off, you'll never get them back on again.
292 Barber's Law of Backpacking #11~The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellent.
293 Barrett's Law of Driving #1~You can get ANYWHERE in ten minutes if you go fast enough.
294 Barrett's Law of Driving #2~Speed bumps are of negligible effect when the vehicle exceeds triple the desired restraining speed.
295 Barrett's Law of Driving #3~The vehicle in front of you is traveling slower than you are.
296 Barrett's Law of Driving #4~This lane ends in 500 feet.
297 Berson's Corollary of Inverse Distances~The farther away from the entrance that you have to park, the closer the space vacated by the car that pulls away as you walk up to the door.
298 Clark's Law~It's always darkest just before the lights go out.
299 Clyde's Law~If you have something to do, and put it off long enough, chances are that someone else will do it for you.
300 Cole's Law~Thinly sliced cabbage.
301 Cooke's Law~In any decisive situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision.
302 Cornuelle's Law~Authority tends to assign jobs to those least able to do them.
303 Corry's Law~Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
304 Davis's Basic Law of Medicine~Pills to be taken in twos always come out of the bottle in threes.
305 Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #1~The cigarette smoke always drifts in the direction of the non-smoker regardless of the direction of the breeze.
306 Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #2~The amout of pleasure derived from a cigarette is directly proportional to the number of non-smokers in the vicinity.
307 Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #3~A smoker is always attracted to the non-smoking section.
308 Dhawan's Law for the Non-Smoker #4~The life of a cigarette is directly proportional to the intensity of the protests from the non-smokers.
309 Dieter's Law~Food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.
310 Dude's Law of Duality~Of two possible events, only the undesired one will occur.
311 Eliot's Observation~Nothing is so good as it seems beforehand.
312 Old Engineer's Law~The larger the project or job, the less time there is to to it.
313 Fetridge's Law~Important things that are supposed to happen do not happen, especially when people are looking.
314 Finagle's Laws of Information~1. The information you have is not what you want.\n2. The information you want is not what you need.\n3. The information you need is not what you can obtain.\n4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.
315 Flap's Law~Any inanimate object, regardless of its composition or configuration, may be expected to perform at any time in a totally unexpected manner for reasons that are either entirely obscure or completely mysterious.
316 Freeman's Rule~Nothing is so simple that it cannot be misunderstood.
317 Goodin's Law of Conversions~The new hardware will break down as soon as the old is disconnected and out.
318 Gumperson's Proof~The most undesirable things are the most certain (death and taxes).
319 Hardin's Law~Every time you come up with a terrific idea, you find that someone else thought of it first.
320 Herblock's Law~If it's good, they'll stop making it.
321 Law of the Individual~Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.
322 Jake's Law~Anything hit with a big enough hammer will fall apart.
323 Jaroslovsky's Law~The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion to the weight of packages you are carrying.
324 Jenkinson's Law~It won't work.
325 John's Collateral Corollary~In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.
326 Johnson's Forst Law~When any mechanical contrivance fails, it will do so at the most inconvenient time.
327 Johnson-Laird's Law~Toothache tends to start on Saturday night.
328 Klipstein's Law of Specifications~In specifications, Murphy's Law supersedes Ohm's.
329 Koppett's Law~Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen.
330 Laura's Law~No child throws up in the bathroom.
331 (F)law of Long-Range Planning~The longer ahead you plan a special event, and the more special it is, the more likely it is to go wrong.
332 ~Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
333 Lowrey's Law of Expertise~Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more.
334 The Unspeakable Law~As soon as you mention something ...\n\n- if it's good, it goes away.\n- if it's bad, it happens.
